4.1.08 News Flash : Supreme Court bans bad poetry!

//By Tracy Chan//

(Editor's Note: We don't normally run news, but as this is an important issue with far-reaching effects in the art community, an exception was made.)

WASHINGTON—The Supreme Court this morning approved a bill which will ban bad poetry in all forms.

Advocates of the bill say they are sick and tired of people putting words together in ways that…well…suck.

Although the bill was passed unanimously, opponents have been very vocal. Shawna Ricktard, a 25-year-old art student from New York marched on the Supreme Court building with a sign that read, “imapoet andiknowit.” She said she is upset by the Supreme Court’s “suppression” of some of her favorite songs and works of literature.  “It’s simply unfair,” she said, taking a break from protesting to speak with us. “I mean, seriously, like who the fuck do they think they are? Next thing you know, these old, balding conservatives will try to ban imagination just because they don’t understand it. You know?”

The high court made its ruling in an emergency session, justified by what lawmakers called a “danger of a serious and immediate nature which may, if there is delay in addressing it, cause grievous mental and/or physical harm to the American public.”

Supporter Richard Iwanabi said he has been waiting over 50 years to see the bill passed. “A ‘good’ poem is far more than just one that rhymes,” he said. “You see examples of this kind of heinousness everywhere—on bathroom walls, in poetry anthologies, in Fallout Boy lyrics…honestly it’s just revolting, and it’s time our government did something about it.”

The new law will endorse the banning of bad poetry in all mediums, including books, movies, music, and found poetry. Officials estimate that significant improvement will be seen by late October of this year.

For more information, please visit http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/April_Fools'_Day